Flirtinis with Flappers by Marianne Mancusi

Author:Marianne Mancusi [Mancusi, Marianne]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gemma Halliday Publishing
Published: 2016-07-26T04:00:00+00:00

* * *

"Well, that didn't go as well as I'd hoped," I said to The Rat as I walked back into the apartment.

"Mess everything up again, honey?" Ratty asked. He was lying in the middle of the bed, cleaning himself. Yes, there. Ew. I turned my head, not wanting to look.

"Do you, uh, mind not licking yourself on my bed?" I asked.

"Hey, you'd do it too, if you could reach."

"Actually, no. No, I wouldn't."

"Mm-hm. Right. So what happened? How'd you effortlessly succeed in screwing up the world before eight in the morning?"

"You're the one who got me up early."

"And good thing I did. Sounds like you're going to need all day to fix your screwups."

I sighed and sank down into a stiff, upholstered armchair. (I so wasn't getting back on the bed until I changed the sheets!) "Well, it's really not my fault…"

"Right. Uh-huh. Neither was Mrs. O'Leary's cow to blame for the Great Chicago Fire. But do go on and explain why not."

So I did. I told him about meeting Daisy mid walk of shame. About going up to McGurn's room and learning the plan had changed. (I sort of left out the part that it was my fault he now wanted Daisy to wake up Moran. The Rat had enough ammunition on me as it was.) Then I got to the point in the story where Daisy kissed me.

Ratty sat up. "Talk about burying the lead," he cried. "She's a lesbian? How freaking awesome is that? Did you two get it on? Did you giggle as you ripped off each other's clothes?"

I sighed. "It was just a kiss. There was no clothes ripping."

"Was there tickling? Maybe, say, with a feather duster?"

"And you say I'm distracted from saving the world."

"Fine. Destroy my fantasy. Thank you very much. You could have made something up, you know." Ratty pouted. "I'd never have known the diff, and it would have killed the monotony that is my day-to-day rodent existence."

"I'm sorry," I said, lacing my voice with sarcasm. "Maybe I misunderstood my mission: I'm supposed to entertain you, not save the world."

"You're doing a lousy job at both, so I suppose it doesn't matter which you concentrate on at this point."

I opened my mouth to argue, then realized that unfortunately he was right. I really had ruined everything. Worse than he realized, even. How had I been so stupid to blurt out the part about waking up Moran? I mean, what had I been thinking?

I decided to get off my high horse. Sure, it was humiliating to grovel before The Rat, but at this point, I didn't know what else to do.

"So I'm stuck," I confessed. "I don't know how to change Machine Gun's mind. I don't know if Daisy will honor my request not to go see Moran and wake him up."

"I suppose not. Though if you had torn her clothes off and given her multiple orgasms she probably would have. Now, who knows?"

"I'm trying to be serious here!"

"Okay. You're right. Sorry." The Rat jumped off the bed and scampered over to me.

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